Thursday, June 18, 2015

Dark Eden

This morning, in the first hours of dawn, my son Charlie woke up screaming. He does this periodically. He's not hurt or waking from a bad dream, he just wants out of his bed. He's almost five years old. Most kids his age are in a twin bed and when they want to get up and help themselves to cereal in the kitchen, they do.

But not Charlie. He's still in a crib and he cannot walk. And he cannot help himself to much of anything. So when I hear the early morning shriek, that's my cue to to stumble from my bed into the hallway and help him out of bed, into a clean diaper and into the kitchen for some breakfast, which I spoon feed him.

I am not telling you all this for attention or pity (God, I hate pity), but to illuminate my next thought: Serenity can exist anywhere. Yes. Anywhere. After Charlie is settled and fed and diapered and The Wiggles are streaming on the screen, I sneak away for a cup of coffee and a stroll, albeit a quick one, through my little back yard garden. Why? Because I'm seeking serenity. I need to hear that it's all going to be okay. And if you listen closely, that is what plants whisper when you walk by. "It's all going to be okay."

It is only 6:34am. I've been up for 15 minutes and I still have an entire day of childcare ahead of me. I also have lots of work calling my name. But for these next few minutes, I feed the chickens, snap a few beans off of the bean pole, fondle an almost ripe tomato and greet the morning with a deep breath.

This is my Eden. The almost ripe tomato, the coffee, the kid who can't walk, the one who is still asleep, the chicken scratching at the ground, the prickly cucumber stems, the rising sun, the power line, the clothesline, the camera hanging around my neck to snap photos for the blog, the slight smell of ammonia wafting from the coop that reminds me its time to change their bedding - all of it, my Eden.


Connie said...

I's amazing that a few minutes, and a cup of coffee in the yard, can feed your soul. But it does. And sometimes that's just enough to help you through the day.

JF said...

The perfect post!

Laura Ward said...

Thank you. I was having a bad day in "my Eden." Aggravated by my 97 yr-old Grama's constant delusions, the plumber who just dropped the bill (bomb), and Nietzsche's nonstop barking b/c he is a rescue dog who hates men (esp plumbers),,, all while trying to work remotely from my mother's home (which needs A LOT MORE THAN plumbing work done asap) in the dank humid rainy weather.

I truly enjoy your blog and appreciate what you go through and still manage to accomplish. Your photos and words are truly inspiring.

All the way from a lake house in Stockholm NJ, my present Eden.

Warm regards, Laura

Emily said...

Early morning has always "my time". It is the most peaceful part of the day --once you get through what woke you up! For years it was my children, now it is my elderly dogs. Enjoy all the small quiet moments Sarah!